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1Stingy Men's AssociationEvery Penny Has a Home
The Gazette
The GazetteNotice No. 006/2026Under review
Public Notice No. 006/2026 of the Stingy Men's Association — On the Collection and Delivery of Persons from the Airport. The full text is transcribed below.
Public Notice No. 006/2026 · 17 May 2026View full size

Public Notice No. 006/2026On the Collection and Delivery of Persons from the Airport

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Stingy Men's Association

Office of the President

Every Penny Has a Home

PUBLIC NOTICE No. 006/2026

TO: ALL MEMBERS WITH VEHICLES

SUBJECT: On the Collection and Delivery of Persons from the Airport

Members who own vehicles have reported a sharp increase in requests for airport collection, particularly from persons whose flights land between eleven at night and five in the morning.

The Association wishes to record that an airport run comprises three distinct costs — fuel, parking, and the waiting — and that the waiting is the most expensive of the three, being non-refundable and paid in life.

A member may perform an airport collection as an act of genuine affection. He may not be volunteered for one by a third party, and he may not be described in advance as “the one with the car” in any group chat to which he does not belong.

This notice is currently under review, following representations from members who say that it has cost them access to the car park at all.

Julius RockPresident
Identity withheldRegistrar of Wallets
STINGY MEN'S ASSOCIATION · WALLET PROTECTION UNIT · · APPROVED WITH RELUCTANCE ·

This is satire

This notice is satire. The Stingy Men's Association is not a real organisation, has issued no directives to anybody, and has no authority over your weekend.